Decisions

Today we had a family meeting to discuss our options to intervene with Clara's respiratory issues. She has not been able three times to be taken off vent by herself, so it's time to try to help. Our three options today were keep her on the vent to grow and get bigger, ligation (surgery for her PDA), or steroids to decrease the amount of inflammation in the lungs. All of these have serious risks, so basically it was just trying to see which one had the least for us to try first. We all agreed that staying on the vent for a while longer wasn't an option, because if we wait we could be in the same spot weeks from now. Clara did have a echo cardiogram today, to look at her heart and PDA. When we find out those results, we can choose.

Friday as I said was disappointing for me. I was so overwhelmed and emotional exhausted, that on Saturday I stayed home and did normal stuff. On Sunday I felt renewed and ready to move on. We had a nice visit, just jason and myself. We are trying everyday now to hold her, so a lot of our photos are of that.

She is now 1010 grams, which is about 2 lbs and 3 ounces. She is 35 cm long, about 13.5 inches. I brought her little hat home tonight, the one she has had since the beginning, because it is small. I plan on framing so one day can hang in her nursery.

Despite Clara's respiratory issues, she is a remarkable baby who has over come so much and has avoided a lot of preemie bad stuff. She has had no bleeding in her brain, no complications in her belly. She still tolerates more and more milk with calories and keeps gaining weight. Other than how sick her lungs are, she is doing great.  Jason and I love her so much, and talk all the time about our future together as a family.

 We continue to press on with our faith, despite how hard it is, with Hope in Christ. One thing I know is that He loves us and has a plan. He has always taking care of us and will never leave us. I try to remember that everyday, although sometimes it is difficult.

I pray everyday to make this situation easier, less difficult because i know it can not go away. I have asked him this many times. I have also asked, that even though I would have not chosen this, For Him to make something good come from it. That I might be an encouragement to others, as others have been for me. I hope to one day, look back and see God's hand in all of this and feel joy and an over abundance of Grace.