another good day!

Even in the winter, even in the midst of the storm,

the sun is still there. Somewhere, up above the clouds,

it still shines and warms and pulls at the life buried deep

inside the brown branches and frozen earth. The sun

is there! Spring is will come! The clouds cannot stay forever. 

Gloria Gaither

In the very beginning of all of this, weeks ago (well most recent like two weeks ago), I thought GOD had abandoned me. I remember specifically saying that a lot. I thought how in world is he showing me that he loves me, and how he loves Clara? I mean didn't he give me her, against all odds? Usually I would say this when I was the most scared and hurting the most. 

And usually in an instant the phone would ring, a text would come, card in the mail, a visitor in the hospital, or a friend bringing food over to the house.  I think it was, and is, God answering I am walking through this with you. No, the situation was still there, I still had a 25 week old baby. But he was defiantly showing me then that he was taking care of me. 

Clara is still doing good, at the same weight as yesterday, 820- 1 pound 13 ounces.  She was actually a little better today than yesterday, probably from the transfusion. They all thought she looked great. One more dose of Indomethicain which is tonight. Hopefully tomorrow we will know more. I have prayed over and over again to let this work!! 

October 19th will be the last day for antibiotics. THEN we can put his infection behind us. She was very sleepy today, never even woke up when I changed her diaper. She is now upgraded to micro preemie diapers. They swallow her!! Here Vent settings were the same. He last blood gas was high enough to warrant making a change. They would like her PEEP to be 14 to 15 to take her off the vent. Right now it is 16. However they can not make a decision to do this until they know more about the PDA. If they end up doing surgery she will stay on it until after she recovered from that. There is not reason to put her on the Bubble CPAP, because she will have to go back on for the surgery. 

It was confirmed today that since she is 30 days old, still on the vent, so she does have chronic lung disease. However we do not know the extent yet. 

I hope to have more to say tomorrow.