Friday...Day 4

 

As of now Clara is now resting. She was in pain all night, cried for over 14 hours and didn’t sleep. Rapid response was called and it was crazy scary. She was holding her breath and then needed oxygen. Yesterday afternoon greatly changed when the nurse figured out her epidural was out. It wasn’t going to come out until today.  We are not sure how long it was out, but narcotics were given immediately. And hour or so later  everything hit the roof. Then it was changing medications, doses, IV or gtube, changing her position, etc.  Nothing worked. The pain every minute ripped through her. 

As of this afternoon the pain team may have found the right combinations of medicines and a patch for her baseline, although we will see. I have never seen her or really anyone in that much pain before. It was awful. 

On Monday I thought for sure we would go home Friday, but now no way.  We will not take her with us until she has one good day. I’ve told everyone up there that, to not rush us. We can’t take care of her like this. 

My last thing I want to say is It’s hard to remember in times like this that God is taking care of us. It really doesn’t feel that way, when you see your child struggling and hurting or sick. When it’s going good or getting better it does..I can feel His love then. But when times are hard it just feels bad. 

Life all around us is moving on, and we are here again. Watching her struggle. And I ask why? Why her again. We just got through something else and now this. 

When will it get easier. Why can’t you Lord just stop it all ready. Give her a break. 

Does it always have to be hard...and so on and so on. 

Then I remember through adversity comes endurance and through grace come faith. When I don’t know why (which is always when it comes to Clara)....I do know God will use His grace in our time of need, and that’s sufficient. 

He is fighting for her yesterday, today and tomorrow.