February 6th: Come to me and rest. I am all about you, to bless and restore. Breathe Me in with each breath. The way just ahead of you is very steep. Slow down and cling tightly to My Hand. I am teaching you a difficult lesson, learned only by hardship. 

(Sarah Young, Jesus Calling)

This was my daily devotion this morning. What makes my morning even sweeter morning is that Clara is finally home and I don't have to rush to be anywhere, nor the guilt of not being somewhere. 

My heart was broken this morning when I read that another baby that we briefly spent time with in the NICU passed away Tuesday Morning at home. I thought of her amazing parents when I read this. Even though thousand times I have imagined the pain of losing Clara, I can't even begin to know what they feel. To have been three months in the NICU and then get to come home and it still end, is just so sad. 

Clara is doing well so far. Very sleepy, and a little out of wack with her eating. But we are getting there. Leaving the hospital was a little surreal. It was happening, but it felt like it wasn't. If that makes sense. I was so happy to see so many faces that have been with us since the beginning to come and say goodbye. A handful of my favorites. Half way home the pulse ox just stopped working, so I had to pay close attention to her. Just a drop of drama! Lots of help at home when we got there. New people to meet and things to get squared away with nursing. Jason and I are just trying to see how everyone fits in to all of this, and where we do as well. . Nurses are here to help and want to, but I also want to do everything. So a little bit of figuring that out. 

Madeline has been very involved wanting to hold her and give her bottles. Which is just adorable. I had an amazing "celebration" shower last Sunday given by my Sunday School girl friends. I was smiling ear to ear all day. It was by far one of the top five best days I've had in months! It was sooo NICE to get baby things. We have been bombarded with medical equipment and supplies over the past week. When I was opening the gifts I remember thinking, it's not a catheter, saline, trach ties. 

After all Clara is just a sweet baby, that just so happens to need a trach. She should be showered with pink. 

I want to thank everyone for the amazing cheers and support yesterday. Clara being home is just a celebration for us all. In one way or another you have all loved her from a far. She is a testimony of God's love and grace. Now it is time for me and our family to be "restored". I love what is says above...I am all about you. That alone gives me such comfort and confidence, like a big hug.

Best Nurses ever! 

All packed up and ready!