God's Gift

God's Gift

Little Baby on the Hay,

soon there'll will be another day

when nails shall pierce Your hands and feet

as you provide our sins defeat.

Risen Jesus on the throne,

we lift our praise to You alone-

for You're the gift that we receive 

the moment that our hearts believe. 

-Roy Lessin-

At least 24 Days we have been preparing our home, our family for Christmas.  Decorations, cards, food, gifts, more gifts, parties, etc. These things were endless. For 24 days I knew just how blessed we are to have lists. People to buy for, beautiful decorations to adorn our home with, parties that we were invited to, and family to spend time with. 

My to do, to get lists were pages long.And somewhere a long the way I missed Christmas. I was very involved with it, but very unconnected to what this time of year is really about.

My expectations I think were incredibly to high, as I try to move with all the rest. Each day I couldn't keep up, which ultimately left me feeling flawed, very tired and probably more unconnected. 

The past month or so, Clara's disabilities have stood out more to me. I don't know why. Maybe because thinking of gifts to get her, or to ask Santa for is really very hard. Trips to the toy store are not easy, for all parents. I do delight in finding things for Madeline still, but I feel stressed out when looking for Clara. we are still looking at baby toys, and sometimes not even those would work. 

I have researched and thoughtfully planned everything we have gotten for her. I have searched for toys for kids who are visual impaired and also that have cerebral palsy. And really there was some delight in that, but its just not the same. One day at Toys R us I stopped and stared a baby stroller and thought I wish we could be getting that instead. And again I grieved for her and me. 

The magic of Christmas she doesn't understand. And even though I know she is really happy, I do long  more for her. This difficult part for me, probably didn't help me find Christmas. I feel ashamed to admit this, but hopefully some might understand. 

So I realize now that as I spent all that time preparing my family, our home for Christmas I didn't prepare my heart. I was so busy making lists, getting stuck with what's lost, and running around I didn't once really thank God for His gift. A baby sent to save us all. 

I forgot to consider all the awesome, wonderful things that have come to ME through Jesus, God's perfect Gift. We are promised through Jesus all this, and that more good things are yet to come. 

All along I have been waiting to slow down and stop and listen. Today Christmas Eve, I have finally done that. Thanks goodness it's not to late. 

So my Christmas message is one that is so simple. I praise God for his most perfect Gift, Jesus Christ. For all the wonderful things he has given me,  Love, Peace, and Hope. It's never to late to rediscover or even discover Him and the true meaning of Christmas. 

Two of My Greatest loves! I decided this year to get Christmas pictures made. I had been stressing over our cards for this year. Clara is just so hard to take pictures of, so I decided to take something off my plate.  I was so thankful that a photographer near us has an openings. She was so good with Clara, and spend a lot of time with us. In every photo they are both so beautiful to me.