Redeemed

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

Isaiah 43:1

You're Redeemed,

bought with a price, paid in full,

of great worth to the heart of God.

And all those mistakes?

Those failures you fear?

They're taken care of too.

Ashes into beauty.

Mourning into joy.

Stumbles into solid ground.

Our God is the great Redeemer,

and nothing, no one,

is beyond His power to set free

and make new. 

This past Sunday afternoon I was on my way home from Chapel Hill after spending the night with Clara. Obviously I was in great mood. I  had survived 24 hours of her care all by myself. In the car I was thinking of all the things I would miss about our time at Chapel Hill. I know you must be thinking how incredibly insane I am. There are of course so many reasons WHY I will be glad to be done with our time there, just the mere fact that Clara will be home with us, the long drive, much time away from Madeline, all the fill ups at the gas stations and parking fees, traffic! 

However I miss several things. So I thought of a list. 

• The drive. I actually got used to it. It gave me some time to think, pray, listen to music that would help me get me through my day, and I did something that I have never done "listened to a book on CD" . I actually missed my exit several times because I was so lost in thought. Times weren't that bad in the car. 
•  The shops around South Point. If there was ever time to spare I would stop and visit some shops that are no where near where we live. When it was apparent that Clara was going to come home, I stopped several times at Babies R Us, and other places to look for things for her room. 
• The university. Say what you will about Carolina but the Campus is beautiful. 
• The Hospital. I hope to never have to go back except for doctors appointments, but the hospital is the finest. Everyone there is so nice. 
• The NICU staff.  I will miss them the most. We were/are so fortunate to have had the best take care of Clara. Our Nursing/Dr. care was consistent. The same folks most of the time. I think they are all so brilliant! We plan on keeping in touch forever. 
• Starbucks coffee shop. I have to say that I have become a coffee snob. It is now my favorite. It is so hard to drink anything else ;)
• The quiet times with Clara when everything else was shut out, and it was just her and I. 
• Most importantly I know that I will miss how incredibly close I felt to God. I'm glad the hard stuff is over, but I will miss those specific times I clung to him. 

Next Wednesday is her discharge day. It will be bittersweet for us. As we say good bye we will be moving on to a new exciting chapter with Clara,  as our very own. I  am personally very nervous, a little scared, relieved, and mostly just excited! 

Tonight as I was listening to "Redeemed"  by Big Daddy Weave. I got to thinking that the greatest thing that has happened to me throughout this experience is that I was redeemed. "I was delivered, ransomed, freed from bondage, and bought back". (Gerth, God's Heart for You) This has been a journey I will always remember. I have learned so much about myself and my faith. I have seen the very best in so many people and through them God has supported and loved us.  He has been faithful. I am here to say that God is real. 

I have been redeemed. I have been saved. Never again I will be the same. 

"I know what it is like to want to run away as fast as you can. I've done exactly that many times. However, the sweetest moments in my journey have come when I've chosen to let God wrap His loving arms around me. Being under God's umbrella isn't like a walk in the park on a sunny day. There is an intimacy to it. though, that day we may look back with longing. We have all heard people say I'm glad that time in my life is over but sometimes I just miss how close I felt to God." (Gerth) 

I am glad that I didn't run away and that I chose to put my faith in God. We have many challenges ahead with Clara. I can't say that I don't worry everyday what her future looks like. For so long the day to day looked scary,  now it is scary to think what is going to happen. But.......... I know God will meet us there too. 

First ride in MY new car seat. 

Check out all the equipment in the bottom. Oh my! 

This is what happens when the pacie falls out!

Me and Grandma

Catching a nap on my boppy! 

Almost 9 am Sunday morning. WE made it through the night together. 

Daddy came to visit in the sleep room.